


Monkey See, Monkey Do

by blackkat



Series: Crossover and Fusion Drabbles [5]
Category: Naruto, Saiyuki
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 11:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16136576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: Sanzo has problems. Massive, four-tailed-monkey-shaped problems.





	Monkey See, Monkey Do

“Welcome back from the dead! Now go control your monkey,” Kanzeon says loudly, and smacks Sanzo between the shoulder blades so hard that he tumbles ass-over-teakettle back into life.

Hitting the ground _hurts_ , but practice and muscle memory unblunted by however many years he’s been dead has Sanzo rolling to his feet in an instant, gun in one hand, veil falling in his eyes. With a snarl he rips the golden crown from his head and flings it to the side, shakes his sleeves back, and levels the barrel at the sound of the commotion.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he says without pause, and twists, letting a massive tail slam into the ground where he just was. The beast— _yōkai_ , his senses scream, **_big_** _yōkai, damn it_ —roars, and it has the vague form of an ape, four tails including the one that almost flattened Sanzo. Between that and Kanzeon’s _your monkey_ , Sanzo has a sinking feeling that he knows exactly why his bitch of an aunt tossed him here without so much as a minute’s warning.

A flash of movement catches his attention, and he growls, takes three steps, aims. There's a man with blue skin and a sword, and he doesn’t _feel_ yōkai, but he’s swinging at the beast, laughing like he’s enjoying the fight. The blade skims across one thick leg, and the ape roars, recoils—

Sanzo takes the shot.

There's not even an attempt to dodge, not that it would work. Sanzo is too fast, to accurate. The blue man shouts, stumbles back and collapses against a tree, and Sanzo steps into the space he leaves. The ape looms over him, a dozen times his height, and it bellows like a wounded animal, drops its head to roar at him.

Sanzo got snatched out of his peaceful afterlife, had to talk with his aunt, got _booted out of heaven_ to deal with this bullshit, and his patience right now can only be measured in negative numbers. _Especially_ where his wayward ward’s stupidity is concerned.

“ _Goku_!” he snarls, draws a fist back, and punches the ape in between the eyes with every ounce of strength he has.

With a suspiciously high-pitched yelp, the ape recoils, almost trips over its own tails as it sits down hard. There's a blaze of golden light like a crown settling around its head, and with a wavering wash of brilliance its huge form shimmers, fades. The diadem keeps condensing, cutting through the haze, and Sanzo makes a sound of annoyed satisfaction, shaking out his fist with a sharp motion, though he keeps it at the ready.

“Fucking _monkey_ ,” he says loudly.

“Ow!” a familiar voice protests, and Sanzo will never admit to the relief that shakes through his chest like a tremor. “Sanzo! What’d you do _that_ for?”

“You're being an _idiot_ ,” Sanzo says sharply. “Sit the hell down already.”

“Ehh?” There's a thump, and as the last of the smoke clears Sanzo can finally see Goku, small and glutton-shaped the way he normally is. He’s rubbing his head, but the diadem is firmly around his brow, buried under brown hair, and though his arm is bleeding he looks otherwise unhurt. He glances up at Sanzo from where he’s sprawled on the muddy ground, then grins, and says, “Sanzo!”

Sanzo's breath slides out of his throat, sharp like a knife, and he drops a hand into Goku's wild hair, rests it there for a moment. There's a shift from behind him, careful and deliberate, and under his touch Goku tenses sharply.

“Yōkai!” he cries, darting to his feet, and Sanzo has no earthly idea how he has so much energy after getting that seal shoved back onto his soul, but he doesn’t hesitate to plant himself in front of Sanzo in a crouch, ready to leap.

Sanzo catches his shoulder, hauls him back, and levels his gun at the blue man who’s watching him with wide eyes. He doesn’t say anything, but lets his gaze be a warning, and the man slowly raises his hands.

“Did you just punch a bijuu?” he asks.

“I punched an idiot monkey who was overreacting,” Sanzo bites out, and flicks a glance at the bleeding bullet wounds in his chest. Not deadly, even if they don’t get treated immediately. The asshole will be fine.

“Aren’t you a _monk_?” the man asks, and this time the question is full of humor.

Sanzo doesn’t bother answering. He gives the man a dark look, turns on his heel, and heads for the edge of the trees. “Goku, move,” he orders.

“I'm coming!” Goku says cheerfully, and a moment later his hand finds Sanzo's sleeve. “Ne, ne, Sanzo, can we get some food? I'm _hungry._ ”

Sanzo sighs. Some things never change.


End file.
